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Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.