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Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.
"You`re going to love my friend. He`s hilarious." is still the best way to know you`re about to meet an annoying person.