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I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
word of the day: nincomtard
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!