Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will describe me as "quiet"
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?