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People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
The older I get, the more I sympathize with Squidward`s anger.
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Right now a FedEx driver is dropkicking your Christmas gift onto someone’s front porch.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.