Daily Silly Status

The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.

If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.

The best neighbors are the ones you never see.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.

i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)

Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law

Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.

Kicking a man while he’s down burns 150 calories.

I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.

lifes a laugh, start living it!

I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!

It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.

The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.