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My new plan is to ignore my problems until they become hilarious stories.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
TEIAM - problem solved
I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
Sorry I said "Better you than me" when you showed me your baby.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
A good way to break up with a girl gently, is to curtsy when you`re meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.