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For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
I think people who challenge me at Words With Friends are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
I would have a girlfriend but finding someone who likes to be ignored is hard.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?