Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
I`m going to hell in every religion!
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
I play hard to get along with.