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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
Don`t worry, kids. Being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.