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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Happy people don`t take long showers.
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??