Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor.
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.