Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
Never let your printer know you`re in a rush, those bastards smell fear
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don`t know the man & he doesn`t know you`re eating his popcorn
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!