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When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.