Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.