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Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes