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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.