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McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.