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Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
Well, I`m going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.