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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
Facebook would be much more interesting if they let you decide, which part of the body you wanna Poke.
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
Is there another word for synonym?
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.