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People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
My house has really let itself go.