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BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.