Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.