Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I carved my name in a fruitcake in 1982. If anyone gets it this year, post a pic!
WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
Just once Iād like to learn something the easy way.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...