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I`m like a kid in a candy store. I can`t afford anything.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he will come home with 4. Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. Its science.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
My ice bucket challenge: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Sign into FB and drink