Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.