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If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
It’s a status….not your diary…
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.