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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.