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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
drink beer ?? save water
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.