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Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.