Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.