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Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
Condoms prevent minivans.
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.