Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious… I’d wonder who the f&*k was paying me, and why?
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don`t know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol.
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject