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I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?