Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. Thereβs liquor and you canβt hear them.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Why is it that whenever you dial a wrong number, somebody always answers?
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
Iβm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
Looks like Iβm in the doghouse again, but I donβt know why. All I said to the wife was, βIs there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?β
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaireβs doorstep
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
I donβt have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong