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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Of course I`m using OJ as a mixer, it`s flu season.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
How I sing it: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,....H, I, J, K, A LEMON OH PEE!....Q, R, S....T, U, V....W, X....Y, and Z."