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Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
Could you please put your screaming baby on vibrate.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.