Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.