Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
Why get married? Just pick a girl you hate and buy her a house.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.