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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.