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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.