Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
Winning isn`t everything. Rubbing it in the face of your opponent is also important.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)