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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny, AND thin ... It`s a public service really.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
Targeted ads are trying to sell me a new mattress nowadays. With how much Google knows about me you`d think they`d cap themselves at something like $5 footlongs or stationary.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.