Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
I learned how to kiss passionately by practicing on my hand, but now it just uses me for sex.
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
Sometimes I have to tell myself, "It`s not worth the jail time!"
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.