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I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
It`s my birthday. I’m not just a year older, I’m also a year better and prettier ... I know your jealous ;)
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."