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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don`t tell them you need it by a certain date.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.