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If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Don’t mix it up this year!
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Why is the guy who serves you at the restaurant called a waiter, when it is you that is waiting?
never tell a lie...unless it is true
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.