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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
When someone says "Surprise me", I quickly drop my pants.
If the zombie apocalypse happened in Vegas…would it “stay in Vegas”?
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin