Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Trail mix is just a reminder of how much better it would`ve been if I just ate a bag of M&M`s!
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
You don`t look like 200 likes in person
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
I`m ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there.
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.