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Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
I think I may be getting harder to love.