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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.