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Will be drunk until further notice.
I`m so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign And before that ... we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that sh!t.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
Tip of the day: When there’s a will…find a way to be in it!
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
heyy lol
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook